the signs as weird f. scott fitzgerald things

• aquarius:
  the time he stood on a window ledge reciting poetry and almost jumped out
• pisces:
  his foot fetish
• aries:
  the time he threatened to jump out a window to prove his love for james joyce
• taurus:
  finding out where hemingway moved to and showing up at his doorstep in the middle of the night drunk
• gemini:
  the egg yolks he'd put in his friends' hats as a prank
• cancer:
  leaving bowls of money out at parties for people to take
• leo:
  the time his school paper publicly wrote about him, "will someone poison scotty or find some means to shut his mouth?"
• virgo:
  only getting into college because he wrote the admission board that it was his birthday and they felt sorry for him
• libra:
  eating ice cream for breakfast and fudge for dinner
• scorpio:
  bringing a suitcase filled solely with coca cola bottles to work when he was trying to quit drinking
• sagittarius:
  the time in the army he was caught naked with a girl by one of his superiors and tried to bribe him with a one dollar bill folded to look like a hundred
• capricorn:
  when he dropped out of college he tried saying it was because of his tuberculosis but really he was failing every single class